We Are All Playing Status Games / Costly Signaling Theory / Ending Situationships

 What is going on, people? So honestly, it has been a wild week. I am currently in a cold war with my landlord. No one has fired the first missile, but we both have our own version of nukes. Whomever fires the first shot is doomed. Regardless, I hope the war can end shortly so we can go about our business, and we can get out of this apartment, and she can do the major renos she is hoping for.

What I have been reading up on a lot is the fact of status. As someone who was never raised with a lot of money but also really never gave a shit regarding status, for those who know, there were those YMCMB shirts that people would wear back in the day or a Louis Vuitton douche canoe belt.

I can personally say I never gave a crap about that stuff. Something about it signalled that you were disgusting, and I should take three paces back and quickly make an exit. That said, my views have evolved more and more as I have gotten older.

From the Rolex watch, a Vera Wang suit, to an Hermès bag, the status games are everywhere. One could argue they are the reason most commerce has taken place to begin with. That being said, I figured out a while ago they were all regarding costly signalling.

As Gad Saad had put it, in order for a signal to be honest, it has to be costly. I.e., if you can afford to put most people’s mortgage into a car, then damn, you really are rich. But moreover, there is more than meets the eye with this. Because I realized it’s with actions too.

If you ever want to thin the herd on your friend group, let me help you out. Next time you get into trouble, or have a really bad day, express it. Let all your friends know individually and see how they react. As far as I can tell, there is really only a small list of options to this. Let’s play it out.

"Hey man, I feel really shitty. X thing happened to me."

Response:

1. They send a text message showing empathy and nothing more.
2. They continue to text you to ensure you are okay.
3. They give you a phone call.
4. They give you a FaceTime.
5. They call/text you and say they are on their way. Either:
   a) They can hang out with you at home.
   b) Even better, they say, "Get ready, we are going out."

I posit that that 5th kind of person is like a 1000x to normal people. Having a few of them around is far better than having a 1/2 on that scale. Truthfully, if you are a 1/2 on the scale, you aren’t a good enough person to be my friend, and we will be parting ways Toodaloo. (noting that there is a time frame in this i am aware that people have busy lives and aren't available I am referring to whiten a week if you can't reach out you don't fuck with me)

Situationships

Though I have never had them, I think the benefit of being autistic sometimes allows you the idea that grey is annoying with relationships. As I already don’t have a great grasp on facial expressions and emotions, being vague is a no-go. (Side note: I am appreciating the grey a lot more now.)

That said, I have gotten many times from women, particularly, that they are in a situationship, and in some form or another, they can’t get the guy to commit.

Bullshit. I say this takes more self-esteem than advertised. That being said, if you are seeing a guy and he:
A) Doesn’t respond to your messages.
B) Only texts/calls you late at night.

Then he is using you and doesn’t like you very much. I know, hard to say, but drop him. Get some respect for yourself and find someone else. There are literally 8 billion people on the planet. You can find someone, I promise.

With love,
Kingsley